Mini meltdown

It's Wednesday, 11 a.m., and Katie is out sawing apart a tree (part of our wwoofing assignment today), and I'm inside crying.

I just lost a lengthy email to my mom, which after a bit of modification would have made a decent blog post. It took me over half and hour to write, and I'm a slow typer and slow, laborous writer...writing for me is an effortful task. Trying to sound witty and insightful often works me into such a sweaty distressed state that I have to pace around the computer, wringing my hands with excess anxiety. So the worste thing about losing my writing was I was happy with what I wrote. For a type A, recovering perfectionist, This rarely happens.

So here I am a melted mess on the floor, when I remember my resolution to not cry so much. I'm trying to practice not falling apart, especially over insignificant matters, but obviously it's not going well.

The comforting thing I know about myself is that I rise to challenges...I just struggle to handle the "manageable misfortunes" that happen on a routine basis. Give me a tragedy or seemingly impossible scenario and I will take it head, formulate and plan and take action without losing a beat.

Well, another good thing is that I usuallly stop crying after about five minutes and return to a functioning state, bright-eyed and optomistic. I have a two-second rebound rate...until the next email is lost.